Kristmas in Kanto
by The Experimental Film
Summary: A christmas fic! Both Team Twerp and Team Rocket come to my house for Christmas.


Kristmas in Kanto  
Wheeeeee! I'm writing a Christmas fic! 

Dang, this is the first fic I've written in a long time.

DISCLAIMER: Well, what do you think? Do I own pokemon?  
SUMMARY: Why do I even put these in? In any case, I invite Team Twerp and Team Rocket over for Christmas.

Slowking Studios proudly presents:

11:30 a.m., December 22  
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A letter arrived by way of an eggnog-drunk Pidgeot to two groups. One, in a balloon, was strangely pleased for more reasons than one. Namely, who knows when rare pokemon will show? The other, a group sitting around a table that wasn't there a few seconds ago (although a blind guy's backpack was now significantly lighter), didn't know what to think. Well, Ash didn't know what to think. Does he, ever?

This is what the letter said:

Dear Team Rocket and Team Twerp

MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are all invited to a Christmas party at XXX on December the 24th! There is no way to refuse… fufufu… Well, actually there is, but let's not think about that right now.

-HyperMew Satoshi  
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Both teams looked at each other. What could they think? They were going.

6:00 p.m., December 24th  
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(Wheeeee! I like these asterisk-thingies)

HYPERMEW: **swings open the door** Welcome, welcome, one yet none! The not-annual-and-hopefully-never Christmas party is about to begin! Muwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahah… Oh wait, no one's here yet. Darn.

7:30 p.m., December 24th  
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HYPERMEW: **opens the door a crack, just to make sure** Oh, good! You're finally here!  
JESSIE: FINALLY? We've been standing here, ringing the doorbell, since 6:01!  
HYPERMEW: Oh. Oops. Well, anyway, welcome! Come in, come in!  
************************************************************************  
HyperMew led everyone inside.  
HYPERMEW: This is the banquet hall! Well, actually it's just the foyer… But if you come this way I'll lead you to the kitchen!  
EVERYONE: **rolls his or her eyes**  
A few half-seconds later…  
HYPERMEW: Well, here we are! **gestures to a table piled with food. Good food**  
EVERYONE: **eyes explode in glee** Food! Food! Food! Food! Foodfoodfoodfoodfoodfoodfoodfood!  
HYPERMEW: Yeah, food. What does it look like?  
A few half-seconds later…  
HYPERMEW: Well, it would've been nice to save some for me! **empty plates stack the halls with boughs of- never mind**  
JAMES: zzzzzzzzzz…  
HYPERMEW: What, is it bedtime already?  
EVERYONE ELSE: zzzzzzzzzz…  
HYPERMEW: I suppose it is.  
Fifteen minutes later… because HyperMew has to first, wake everyone up, and second, dodge attacks from Jessie and Misty for disturbing their beauty sleep.  
HYPERMEW: **everyone is walking down a dark, evil-looking hallway** Here's the boy's room… **opens the door and kicks Brock, Ash, and James into it. Then, on second thought, pulls James out** Sorry, wrong room, James.  
JAMES: Heyyyyzzzzzzzzzzz…  
HYPERMEW: **opens another door and boots Misty, Jessie, and James into it** This is the girl/homosexual room.  
JAMES: **too tired to notice**  
HYPERMEW: And Pikachu and Meowth bunk with me!  
Pikachu and Meowth look at each other with nicely scared expressions… then shrug and follow me inside.

9:30 p.m. December 24th  
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Brock and Ash are playing Truth or Dare and giggling like girls.  
Jessie and Misty are fast asleep. James is scared to death.  
HyperMew is asleep (hey, I go to bed early!). Pikachu and Meowth aren't. For some reason they found it hard to sleep in a room with a mew. It might be the fact that whenever HyperMew rolled over, something exploded/caught on fire/disappeared. Gotta hate that.

Back to the g/h room…  
JAMES: Jessie? **no response** Jessie? Jessie? JESSIE?  
JESSIE: WHAT?  
JAMES: I can't sleep.  
JESSIE: Not my problem.  
JAMES: Will you tuck me in?  
JESSIE: **not willing but knowing James will never shut up if she doesn't, does so**  
JAMES: Thank you Jessie.  
JESSIE: zzzzzzzzz…  
Five minutes later…  
JAMES: Jessie? Jessie? Jessie? JESSIE!  
JESSIE: SHUT UP JAMES!  
JAMES: Who is Santa Claws? (A/N Yes I know I spelled it wrong. You'll see.)  
JESSIE: He's… he's… a- guy who employs Jynx to make toys. Then he gives them out to people.  
JAMES: I love Christmas.  
JESSIE: zzzzzzzzzzz…

Finally morning, 8:00 a.m., December 25th  
JAMES: **leaping out of bed** Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmas!  
JESSIE: Yes, I know it's christmazzzzzzzzz…  
HYPERMEW: zzzzzzzzzzzz…  
PIKACHU: Pikaaaaaaaaaahh!  
HYPERMEW: **no response**  
MEOWTH: Wake up you mew!  
HYPERMEW: **rolls over. Meowth ducks as my Game Boy explodes**  
PokeTranslator ON  
PIKACHU: It's Christmas!  
HYPERMEW: **bolting awake** Christmas! Christmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmaschristmas!  
BROCK and ASH: YAAAAAAYY! It's CHRISTMAS! **run downstairs in their PJs** Yaaaaaaaay!!  
Downstairs…  
All the members of Team Twerp and Team Rocket are seated around the tree with me. It's a perfect Christmas picture except for one thing: There are no presents.  
BROCK: No presents?  
BROCK, ASH, and JAMES: WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
All of a sudden a loud scraping is heard.  
BROCK, ASH, and JAMES: Huh?  
?: Ugh!  
ASH: It's a scary voice from the chimney!  
SCARY VOICE FROM THE CHIMNEY: Ouch! This hurts!  
Wait, just to show you that nothing is ever what it seems, let's turn the  
PokeTranslator OFF  
SCARY VOICE FROM THE CHIMNEY: Feral! Feral! Gatr!  
JAMES: A f-f-f-feraligatr!  
BROCK, ASH, and JAMES: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
HYPERMEW: No, it's Santa Claws! (A/N Told ya)  
SANTA CLAWS: Feraligatr!  
HYPERMEW: Oops.  
PokeTranslator ON  
SANTA CLAWS: Help me here! Someone!  
HYPERMEW: Okay! **makes the chimney explode. A very tall Feraligatr comes tumbling out**  
SANTA CLAWS: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!  
EVERYONE: SANTA!!!!  
SANTA CLAWS: Hello everyone… Ow, I have brick burns. Anywho, here are your presents… One for each person and pokemon. **hands presents (whooo!) to everyone**  
EVERYONE: THANK YOU SANTA!!!!  
SANTA CLAWS: You're welcome. Oh, and HyperMew…  
HYPERMEW: Yes?  
SANTA CLAWS: I rather liked your Christmas request. It took me forever to find it, but I got it.  
HYPERMEW: Yay!  
SANTA CLAWS: Alright, see you all.  
EVERYONE: Goodbye Santa!  
SANTA CLAWS: **attempts to use the finger-to-the-side-of-the-nose trick to go back up, but ends up nearly ripping off his nose** I guess that's why they call me Santa "Claws" **turns around and started climbing up the chimney. Minutes later a loud thudding occurs, along with cries of:**  
SANTA CLAWS: On Stanty! On Statner! On Eyeball and Antler! On Slattel! On Slatler! JUST GO ALL YOU STANTLER!  
Everyone looks out the window… and then turns around and dives into the big pile of presents.  
PokeTranslator OFF  
JESSIE: Here's mine! **rips it open to find…** Hey it's a pokeball! **throws it… the ball opens to reveal:** A Jynx! What's it holding? **takes the Mail she's holding** Sorry about that doll- Santa. Oh. Okay.  
ASH: Wheeee! Presentpresentpresentpresent! **rips open his to find…**A box! **opens it** Another box! **opens that** Another box! **opens that… this goes on for several minutes. Everyone, getting really bored, turned to their own presents.  
BROCK: Mine! It's… A PICTURE OF EVERY ONE OF MY SIBLINGS? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
**runs out of breath** I thought I was rid of them…  
MISTY: I found mine! It's a book… "How to Train your Starmie to Perfection" Hmmm… I thought they never learned any moves after they evolved… Oh well!  
JAMES: OH MY GAWSH! Just look at this dress! **pulls a pink dress out of his present** I just, like, love it!  
PIKACHU: **opens his present to find a box of Brock's PokeChow** Pika!  
MEOWTH: Well I like dat! A picture of Meowzie! (A/N Is that that Meowth's name? I can't remember)  
ASH: Hey, open yours HyperMew!  
MISTY: Yeah, I want to see what it is!  
HYPERMEW: Okay… **rips off the wrapping paper to find dum diddy dum…** A box! **opens it to find… dum diddy diddy dum…** Awesome!  
A three-week old rotting corpse, with dried stumps instead up arms and legs. There are no eyes, only eye sockets. However, the cause of death was apparent. There was a frayed noose around its neck, choking it. The only identification? Just a pink headband still wrapped securely around Tracey's head.  
EVERYONE: Eeeeew!  
BROCK: Yay! My replacement is gone!  
HYPERMEW: That's fantabulously awesome!  
THE HYPERMEW THAT'S WRITING THIS FIC: I'm about to throw up! Time to end!  
HYPERMEW: Darn!  
THE HYPERMEW THAT'S WRITING THIS FIC: Shall we end together?  
HYPERMEW: I suppose.  
THTWTF and HYPERMEW: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

END!!!!!!

Yeah, the ending sucked… Oh well. I would have gone into detail about the corpse, but I'm getting bored, and you have a review to write. Remember, have a pokemonish Christmas, and never ever ever misbehave.

Santa Claws is watching!

Good-bye!!!!  



End file.
